The manager looked dejected and hopeless. From her point of view, she had tried repeatedly to help the person on her team be successful in her role. Yet, here was another email threatening to go to HR if she were not given more support and help from the manager. 

The ballroom was full of energy and excitement! Music filled the air, and people dressed in their best gowns and suits, filled the dance floor. The last dance ended, and the announcer called our heat; it was time to report to the floor.

We stood in place, facing one another as the Waltz began; I moved into the dance frame and counted aloud, “1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3”.

I expected my student to begin his steps on the next phrase of the music as we had practiced. Instead, we stood still.

As I looked out the window of the coffee shop, I observed a young child, maybe 2 or 3, crying and upset. She had lost sight of her parent and was scared. She stayed close to the front door.

Another adult witnessing her distress tried to get her to turn around to see that her parent was just around the corner. She would not move or take any action. She remained fixed and continued to cry and cling to the door.

As I watched this scene, it made me think about how adults can also get stuck in fixed patterns of waiting and complaining…maybe even crying like the child, because we don’t want to take an action that feels so scary and uncomfortable.  

Last weekend, while channel surfing, I came upon a scene in a movie where a group of people were stranded in the jungle. Their boat had crashed, and a giant snake was killing members of the group.

As panic took over, everyone began pointing the finger and blaming others for how they had arrived in their current predicament; all of which was serving no value in solving their problem. It was however, successfully creating more crisis and panic.

Finally, some sanity returns to the group as one member says, "Deal with it!", and reminds the group that arguing about what got them in the situation is not going to get them out.

Learning to accept parts of yourself that you don’t like can be difficult. The challenge that comes with increased self-awareness is that you come face to face with your shadow side; you know, the little devil that sits on your shoulder and whispers negative thoughts into your brain.

The thing to remember about that little devil is that he wants to be loved and accepted.

Tuesday started out like a Monday. I had to get up at 5:00 that morning. I was tired and as I was organizing my things, my coffee cup fell into my computer bag…soaking everything; notepads, pens, papers, and the computer. The door and carpet got a good dose too! 

Irritated and highly annoyed, I started the process of cleaning everything up. As I took out each item and wiped it down, I was aware of two conversations running in my mind. 

Self-awareness is crucial if you want to change something about yourself but if you’re not aware of what needs to be changed, how can you discover it? 

We’ve all had that friend or family member who continuously complains about something that a co-worker or friend does and you think, “You do exactly the same thing”.

You might even wonder how that person can’t perceive it when it seems so glaringly obvious to you!

Do you ever have that gnawing feeling that something is unsettled in your life but you’re just not sure how to address it? 

Perhaps you tell yourself you just need to get back to the normal Fall schedule, and the feeling will go away.  

The feeling may go away or lessen for a period of time, but somehow, it always seems to return.

My sister’s oldest son leaves for college this month; it is exciting, stressful, and a little sad for everyone in the family. Fortunately, she and the family are handling this transition quite well but having talked to many clients, friends, and family, I am aware this transition can be highly stressful, and even quite difficult, for some.

Hope you enjoyed the series on building greater emotional resilience!
 
We are full on into summer which brings fun, food, heat, and new adventures, but it can also lead to short tempers and family frustrations. I thought sending along a list of 10 strengths would be a good reminder of how to stay strong when challenges arise.  

Negative feelings have a way of sneaking up on us, when we least expect them. When that happens, we get wrapped up and stuck in a negative way of thinking. The first step is to recognize the negative pattern, the second step is to find a way to deal with negative thoughts and feelings in a constructive way.

“Smile, everything is wonderful. We are all just happy, happy people!”

Getting upset at others and blaming them for impacting your world negatively is one of the quickest ways to lose your center. It is also the quickest reflection of your own ineffective behaviors and choices that throw you off center.

In addition to being a coach, most of you know my husband and I own and operate a ballroom dance studio. Therefore, I spend a portion of my week teaching and coaching dancers on to how to maintain balance and flow in the execution of movement. If you were in the studio, you would hear me say, “You’re losing your center, find your center again.”

Staying grounded and centered in a world with constant change and challenges is becoming more and more difficult. If you and your loved ones want to navigate planet earth successfully, it requires some solid emotional resiliency and fortitude. 

I hope you have been enjoying this series on brain health. This is the final blog in the brain series. There was so much information contained in Dr. Hyman’s Broken Brain series, it was hard to decide what to include and what to leave out. Today, I’m concluding the series with Dr. Hyman’s six steps for six weeks to better brain health.

“I’m losing my mind. I can’t think of the word I want to come up with!” This is a remark I will often hear from my Dad. Both of his parents had dementia, and he worries he is destined for the same future.

What I have been learning and what I have been sharing with him is this is not true. Just because you have a genetic history of a disease does not mean you are destined to get the disease. Science is sharing with us today, that even though you may not be able to change your genes, you can change how your genes express themselves…meaning which ones turn on or off and how that translates into health or disease.

Don’t Think You’ve Had One…Think Again

Over several summers of high school, I worked at a summer camp, primarily teaching swimming and skiing. It was a lot of fun, and I got my share of bumps and bruises but nothing that I ever thought had a lasting impact…until last year.

In 1989, I graduated from college and took a job teaching 1st grade in an elementary school. My first year proved to be one of the most challenging and rewarding of my five years in the classroom and one that deeply shaped my choice to focus my graduate studies in counseling and psychology

During that first year, I had a little boy in my classroom that was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and an autism spectrum disorder.  He was a sweet child and unfortunately, struggled on so many levels.