I had a student one year with severe behavioral challenges. One day, he stomped and screamed his way to the office yelling, “That’s not fair! I don’t want to go to time out. I want things my way…things never go my way!”
“Your right,” I responded, “life is not fair. Life is about how you handle the choices that are put in front of you; be grateful you have a choice!”
“But I don’t have any choices!” he yelled.
Maybe you can relate to how that child felt in that moment. Sometimes, it feels like you don’t have any choices in life.
The choices get cloaked from your vision, because your brain is looking for a choice that avoids a painful experience or consequence.
Sometimes, there is no way to avoid the pain. The choice lies in how you decide to mentally and emotionally walk through the pain.
We want things to go the way we want. Life is much more fun when things flow in our favor. It’s not so enjoyable when it doesn’t.
I’m a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert and in particular, her book entitled Big Magic. It is full of funny and insightful short stories. In one of those stories, she asks the reader, “Are you a Martyr or a Trickster?” She illustrates:
Martyr: Life is pain.
Trickster: Life is interesting.
Martyr: Nobody understands me.
Trickster: Pick a card, any card.
Martyr: The world can never be solved.
Trickster: Perhaps not, but it can be tamed.
Martyr: Death before dishonor.
Trickster: Let’s make a deal.
She points out that, “Martyrs always end up dead and in a heap of broken glory, while the Trickster trots off to enjoy another day.”
Trickster Archetype: Bugs Bunny
Martyr Archetype: Yosemite Sam
If you find yourself fighting with life circumstances and not seeing any options, try thinking like Bugs Bunny!
You might just trot off to enjoy your life a little more that day!
Dedicated to raising your consciousness!